उ रोइरहेछ

हिजोसम्म हाॅसिरहेको मान्छे
आज विहानैदेखि
घुॅक्क-धुॅक्क गर्दै रोइरहेको छ।
त्यही रूवाइबाट झरेका ताता-ताता आॅशुका धाराले
हृदयभित्र घाउहरू धोइरहेछ।
विधिको विडम्बना हो कि धनप्रसादको झेल,
उदर स्वाॅठेको जाल हो कि घ्याम्पे दाइको खेल,
खै कसले छुट्याइदिने?
न्यायाधिसलाई रूघा लागेको छ
कम्मर कसेर दर्जी भन्छ
"ए हजुर! यो मान्छे तेसै रोएको हैन।
यस्मा श्यामलाल वितवहादुर र अरू धेरैको हात छ
जो सुकैको हात लागोस् जो सुकैको बात लागोस्
आखिर,
बोक्रालालको हृदयभित्र
कहिल्यै नपुरिने घाउ लागेको छ।
त्यसैले
ऊ निचोरेको अमिलोजस्तो मुख पारेर
रोइरहेछ... रोइरहेछ।

 Mai jahan rahu, mai kahee bhee hu, teree yaad saath hai
 Kisee se kahu, ke nahee kahu, yeh jo dil kee baat hai
 Kehne ko saath apane ek duneeya chalatee hai
 Per chhupke iss dil me tanhaayee palatee hai
 Bas yaad saath hai, 
 Mai jahan rahu, mai kahee bhee hu, teree yaad saath hai

I am who i am....

I am who i am.....

...

Haa? whats this?

Am i crazy? Are you thinkin the same?

Who cares?

I don't care it too.

I am me, thats how every body sees me.

"who i am?" 

I do not doubt i am someone. Are you?

I am me that you should also know me. 

See t'day m in doubt, could not figure 

what em gonna be.?

I dont know what am gonna do further 

I am not sure where i will be tomorrow

Just Remember me till ur soul wont free

I am me, always let your mind remind me

Something must be wrong with me

I cant stop  these terrible thoughts 

Is there a place where happiness is ? ? ?

I am me, t'day em totally lost within me.

Try to challenge everything, want to move 

Heart shiver...

I just wish i could rid of my cares

How can i say goodbye and move ahead ???

I am human and I am weak

I am me, i need some one to hold me.

If this is the last day I am staying in Delhi

Please Don't come and  rolls your tears down to say me Good bye

Just call me, & tell me "We will meet again"

I hope we are gonna meet again if time favour

I am who i am

I am me, i need to be me only.

Life Without Love

Life Without Love /Apea

Light and airy once,

As life and love surely were designed,

But as with life and love and everything,

All can change with time.

What once elated, can bitterness produce,

And life un lived can stunt,

A soul whose passion empowered another's,

Can sweet poetic words turn blunt.

Life without love,

An emaciated life that is, if life at all,

For lack of love soon hate turns to,

With spirit detached and passion subdued,

For with life am I no longer enthralled.

Love Still Hurts

Love Still Hurts

I know in my heart its over

You just want me for a friend

I realize more each moment

Your love is at the end

I find it hard to look at you

It still hurts to see your face

I can't forget how good you felt

I miss your sweet embrace

I can not bare to hear you talk

Weak vibrations are so wrong

There's no affection in your voice

The sound of love is gone

There's pain in every breath I take

The air broadcasts your cologne

At home, at work, and everywhere

I'm lost and all alone

I've heard it said "Time heals all wounds"

I can only hope its true

Right now it seems unlikely

Because I'm still in love with you

Life...

Life stops for no one,
so be what you wanna be,
not what others wanna see.

success delayed.....

Success delayed is not success denied,
be cool and don't worry;
face the situation- nothing can stop U.../

Our Time

Our Time -Dan 
I knew it was you
when I first laid eyes.
I wanted you so bad
but I thought you were 
way out of my league.

Throughout the year
we had hurtful confrontations.
We kept waiting and waiting
but it never did happen.

We each had our times
with somebody else.
Some were short
Some were long.

But either way
we never got our chance.

We grew apart over time
but still had our memories to fall back on.
Though we hid them deep inside
we both still knew they were there.

Now our chance has come.
Now our time is here.
Now we can be.

But only if you let us.

Note flash

Memories
Laxmi Nagar New Delhi 3:47 am

o..........I'm sitting inside my room
Trying to get sleep but i could not.
I open my laptop and goes through fb.
Still i could see the Friend Request of mah loved one

I want to accept it coz i still love her truely from my heart wherether it as a friend
I dont want to accept coz this is not first time she has ignored me & leave,
i know her she got hurt in some way, so she did ignore me & she has right  to do that. I dont want to hurt her again...
.........
.........I had her gifted shirt hanging on the wall
Feels she is always around me though she is not here
Sometimes i goes through greeting card that she gave me in our fourth month
Makes me feel so good that i forget that we are apart
It's the closest i will ever be to her again......
............
I move outside the balcony sit on chair and its raining outside lightly
The night surrounding here it's peace and calm but still i can see some people working
I can remember the times we walked these streets and had our great times,
there's smile in my face, that's what she taught me in my life.
............
......Never in my life had i felt so close to heaven and never have i felt so alone.
Theres only one thing i can do, let her go and be happy where she is rather hurt her again.

....Thousands question plays on my mind why you ignoring her now?
I got one and only answer to all question, Coz to let her happy.
,,,
There's so much burning inside me now that wont go away
I tries to sleep thousand times but i failed
It won't let me think of any thing else but her. oh gods why it's so hard.
God Let it rain heavily to wash me clean.
Forgive me for what i did.,,....

Ignorance is not my Intension

"Your happiness is my Priority, if i'd find you more happier being apart than being with me then I can Ignore you thousand times to let you happy rather hurting you being together.  It does not meant i don't love you. I love you truly and you love me enough that i cant let you be in Pain"

Reasons I Love You

The Reasons I Love You

I love you because you make me happy

I love you because you make me feel safe and secure

I love your smile

I love the way you say my name

I love the look in your eyes when you tell me you love me And how you laugh at me when I do something stupid, when others would put me down.

I love the fact that when I'm around you I can be myself and not worry

about what you may think of me, because I know you love me for who I am. No matter what my faults may be.

I love being able to wake up with you by my side... It makes my days better

At night I love watching you sleep, hearing you take each breath, and feeling your heart beat with the palm of my hand... reality hits that you

are not a dream YOU ARE MINE.

I love the way you wrap your arms around me and hold me really tight, like there is no tomorrow

And I love the way I feel when your lips barely touch mine for a kiss, the love and emotions that go through me at that moment are unexplainable.

I love your laugh

I love hearing your voice

I love that you get along with my family and friend, no matter how much

you dislike them, or who they are.

And hearing you tell me your stories, you could tell them to me a thousand times, and I will never get tired of them, because they are a part of you.

But the main reason I love you is because.....

You are you!

What Do They Know ???

What Do They Know -Ti

I face the world with a smile, no one knows what is hide inside.

They see only happiness, they cant see the tears I've cried.

When I am alone I hurt, because here I do it well.

In front of all the watchful eyes my heaven turns to hell.

The judge and jury awaits me, everyone has a say.

In a life that hangs suspended for yet another day.

Who are they to judge if what I have done is right or wrong?

In the end I gave him up, but inside still sing his song.

I don't know how to find the strength I thought I had.

If only I could play tough it wouldn't be so bad.

They say that life goes on and someday I'll smile again.

But, how do they know my pain without being where I've been?

I've traveled so far from home, and can't find my way back.

Somewhere along the way I must have jumped the track.

I saw him just today and his smile is still the same.

He looked at me so sweetly, but never spoke my name.

I wonder if he remembers me, It hasn't been that long.

He may have forgotten me, but I still sing his song.

When You Love Someone

When You Love Someone -Preppie

When you love someone so deep inside,
It seems like it's so easy to hide.
You've loved him for so very long,
You would think he could do no wrong.

Every day you would hope and pray,
That he would always stay this way.
He treated you like you should be treated,
You thought your life was finally completed.

You thought your love was growing true,
And then one day it was all so blue.
He started putting you down and it hurt,
You thought all you were to him was dirt.

He started ignoring you and you wondered why,
All you wanted to do was curl up and die.
You thought your relationship would never end,
But that was all so fake and pretend.

One night he was so sweet to you,
You thought all those things were maybe untrue,
Two days later he was back the same,
You thought you were the one to blame.

He thought the relationship was getting too serious
And that you had become a little too curious.
By this time you knew it wouldn't last,
All the nice things he said were in the past.

You thought that you would marry him some day,
But this time God wanted to get his way.
You wanted things back how they were before,
But you knew this couldn't happen anymore.

It was a Saturday night about ten o'clock,
You heard the news and it wasn't a shock.
You knew this was going to happen soon,
As you laid there and cried in the pale lit moon.

I can't say Hello to you..
And risk of another Silent hurting Goodbye... 

The Day I Fell in Love

The Day I Fell in Love -Hope Tshuma The day my eyes opened I realized the sun shone everyday The beauty of the sunrise in the morning filled my heart with joy The magnificent sunset moments in the evening, lifted my spirit The fresh breath of falling waters, made me smile inwardly Birds humming sweetly took my heart afar to Sweetland and I rejoiced I looked then I saw, the beauty I never realized as each day passed Moments with the nature bonded me with the Creator I comprehended the one who created for He is greater than I I laughed joyfully as I walked on the grass and mingled with the nature Fresh drops of water touched my feet, the feeling made me cry of joy How could I have not seen and known all this beauty before? Days became sweet to me, nothing else mattered so much except You The times we shared together in our secret place built me I took heed of Your Word and kept your statutes in my heart so I may not depart from You I keep the Word   from you so I may do things your way and be successful When I opened up to You, You gave me the reason to live Life with you is good, so good, I just have to share it with others around Waking up and listening to sweet hymns from the birds makes my day Waking up and smelling the fresh breath of the day, makes me spread my arms and fly Waking up and knowing that You have granted me yet another day, blesses my soul Take my hand and let me not depart from You oh Lord When I gave my heart to You , all things opened up for me That’s the day I fell in love with You ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Don't Pain For those Who Left You

Hurting is Not Soution

With The Passing time,

People changes, 

Their thought changes,

Feeling changes, Their Nature Changes

Habit changes,..../

But Em sure if s/he Love Truely Someone,

Their Love for him/her Neva Changes, 

S/he will always be in their Heart However tried to forget.

As we all know every Relation is not meant to be Successful

Few; they got success 

But Most they Have to Leave.

Leaving, it does not meant, their love for them is not True.

It;s because of the Situation We are Facing Today
Most People leave their Relation Though they Dont Want For that.
After Leaving they will be busy on blaming For each other
But They Never Tries to Accept their own.
They tries to Torture Every way They Can Rather Finding Out Solution To Problem.
Knowingly Or Unknowningly
They Are Hurting Eachother.
It became Some Kind of; Taking Revenge From one Another
What The Fucking Wrong with People
"Hurting Each other, its what you called Revenge; haha"
If so then you are Such an Asshole,
you wont get anything in your life.

If you think Revenge is the solution,
Despite Hurting One Another, Achieve Your  Success

"Love For Some One's Heart 

Not Their Things

A Good Heart Is Better Than Anything

Don't Pain For those Who Left You

Use Pain To Earn Success

That Defines You"

Knowing or Unknowingly I might also Hurt my Beloved Love one, If you ever get hurt coz of me then Please Forgive Me. Though you are Not here  to Listen But Trust me I feel really sorry. I pretend like i dont care you, but you are the one i always thought of. You are always in mah Heart. I just want you is; Not to hold back. I know i became the barrier in your Beautiful Life,....and i know what to do. Sorry Baby. Wish you always happy life, 

Never Cry For the One who Left You

Relationship 

Sometimes it's one the best part of  Life,

Sometimes it becomes shit..

Some are there who are happy though they are far from each other

Some are there who cannot maintain relation being together also

You know the hardest part is to be apart from the one whom we love.

Some relation broke by mistake 

Some just because you dont care.

Some are there for a reason we cannot change.

Some we just have to let it go though we don't want to. 

Never cry for the one who left you, because if there's happiness 

for him/her by leaving you then let it go 

"Love is not only on what you want to achieve but its also in what you sacrifice to let her happy; however you want to see him/her happy na.."
Move on to find the one who Deserves you and Em sure you will find someday
80% of the People Find it Hard to move on After Breakup, I think i am also one Among them,
But Slowly am also moving ahead and i hope i will also someday Find the One who deserve me.
Most people end their Life due to heart Break rather than other various Reason.
There are Far better things Ahead than Any we leave Behind
Always Love and Trust yourself more than Others
Move On to Find The Best in Life.../

There's Always Place For You In My Heart

Choosing the person you want to share your Life with is One of the most Important Decisions any of us makes ever Because when its wrong it turns your life to grey And some times you don't even notice until you wake up one morning and realize years have gone by.We both know about that. Your friendship has brought glorious technicolor to my life. It's been there even in the darkest of times And i am the luckiest person alive for that gift I hope i didn't take it for granted. I think may be i did. Because sometimes you don't see that the best thing that's ever happened to you is there, right under your nose. But that's fine too. It really is. Because i have realized that..no matter where you are or what you are doing or who you are with, i will always, honestly, truly completely love you. Like a sister loves a brother And a friend loves a friend. I will always stand guard your dreams, baby. No matter how weird or twisted they get. 

I Need No Reason To Smile

I need no reason to smile.

Memories of the past we
spent together is enoughto develop a smile on mah face...Your one talk can get me
relief from all the..problems..you are the one who show meh
the way to be happy with the situations..I just miss every minutes I spent with u.
Just want to be wid u forever..
you gave a hope that I would live longer than actually I will... :* l♡p u sweet heart.

Thoughts

Every person has a train of thoughts on which s/he rides wen s/he is alone. NOTHING other bothers but thoughts flowing through minds, feelings runnin' all over d body even from tip of hair to nails of fingers.

Em afraid, Is it happenin' same like which happened a long yrs back. No, it ought not be. But fears inside, still alive within me. It's complicated to control over mah fear that leads to sub-concious stage. Today as I lay in my bed, as many as thoughts rush through my head. I think about every steps on which I step on. Ma mistakes, my choice, my fear, challenges, my weak areas n my strong, all these thoughts I am thinkin' out loud and questionin' all wrongs n rights. From right to wrong n wrongs to rights, as if I'm?doin' serious research. Once again I wonder who I am? And whats wrong with me? Everytime I questions, I got no answers of it at all . I got no identity of me still. I think I do have left lots more Tasks to perform. Am I depressed? Might be but I wont let it to happen again. I'd try everything to swipe away n ride out of it. Nobody knows n understand us better than our parents. They know me what em goin' through, that's y askin' me lots of questions. They need no reason for asking, they have complete rights. I lied them so many times as if nothing happens. They caught my lies thats why they are guiding me to right tracks. How many lies?….. I could no more lie to them. Finally no other ways left, than to say the truth. I think I'm feeling much more better rather than to live with lies. What I must do is all that concerns me and my parents, not what other people think. I do agree now, em hangin' out with wrong crowd. I am totally diff. from what I want to be. Life goes which way who knows it but we have to track right one. Sometimes life goes so fast we forget to appreciate. special moments wen we r with closest and dearest to us. I realised I'd never gonna to have this moments again and those are beautiful memory which became part of my life, I do appreciate it. We often hold back our true thoughts and feelings in fear of being judged or rejected or embarressed but wen we became truely honest " thats when we feel most free" . free to live, free to be n say whats really on our heart and do whats right. Neva let self get caught up n sub-merged in the middle of things, it possibly may be d wrong outcome and that situation we forget to see the moments that truely matters. Openin heart, sharin' secrets, care eachother, trustin' n believe another is one of the moat beautiful? Experience I do have. Parents, family members n loved ones are the most important people in my life. I only have one life and I think regrets are not meant to be part of my life. I want to live free of it n seize opportunities to fullfill mine and others with love. "Nourish your heart n soul. For this there shall be a time that person is gone but this way u are prepared n part of love we have understand it" Wake each day n live them as if they r first and last. If I dont hav god, I don't have anythin' in me n in my life. My parents are my God, I thanked to them whole heartedly for what they gave me n what I have in life. And guide me to think in diffrent manner "HOW TO make life beautiful? "

Dont go after perfect, nothing is perfect in this world. Appreciate what you hav, feel the feeling called love in hateness also, if u hate, u will surely gona regret it one day. Believe in self.

Note page217 vs page398 "LIFE CANNOT BE THE SAME AS WE WANTED TO BE"

217 Sept

……… 
...,
trust meh I have tried countless way to know her, better to understand in every way but still I couldnot. I wont give up and still continues to my best every way and will make her happy. 
Oh God I thanked you that we are fated to meet each other but plz dnt destined us to be apart from each other, I don’t want and I cant stand moving apart from her. I love her so much. If em belong to her, I am lost in the different world, I cant even imagine, it feels like a dream, so much happiness. If I don’t em still lost, don’t know which world that is, might feels like in hell. 

When she is happy . I am thinking of thousand people’s smiles in the world but between those smile, her smile is my favourite one which makes me smile without any reason. I still believe I am a kind of different guy, everything just strange about me. I was at total peace until I met her. But these things changed when she stepped in my life at that stage where I felt the arrival of love was not possible. Who knew, I even did not know someone, somewhere somehow I would meet someone special like her in mah life who will change me lots/ I want to change, I want to be like her, happy, helpful, always smile on face, together forever.And I can do that for her and I will. When she leaves me, I feel sad, when she gets upset, my mood turns really bad, when shes angry , nothing goes right wid meh/ when she’s with other, I feel jealous too sometimes. Whats wrong wid me?, I trust her and I have to… Do em in love, is it true love?/ Is these are the feelings people called True love. umm.. I think em in love. Ops.. why em thinking so much now?/ I still don’t know what she thinks about me/ What if she leaves me? No it can’t be. Till today I checked her in every way, she’s not like that, she cant do this to meh/

“KEEP calm she will surely love u like u do! “ 
I welcomed this beautiful moment or she presented it to me, I don’t know. Whatever my life is beautiful being with her.

“Hello..lo..lo God, just listen ok; don’t let anybody’s eyes on our relationship ok”

I wish we could read eachothers mind. Then I’d not have to be scared of losing her, scared to tell how I planned about us, scared of what other thinks, scared of loving her.

“Common mann!, you sudn’t be scared, you know what? , you must be strong enough”

oh! Really, I get it.
It’s been so much time nah, we are being part of each other.
 I just feel lucky to have her. I miss her so much now, I wish she’s with me and give me hug and give me goodnight kiss. She don’t know I fall more for her, running all over my mind/,
Look my heart beats faster, can you hear, she’s telling meh, “ I m over here, I miss you too”

“Hey you! Are you gonna sleep or I’ll leave you now, clock gonna strike 2. Without me you wont be able to think, I am tired today. So close your note, keep ur feelings foh tomorrow,”
Achha fine! Sure, goodnight.
I miss you Baby. I love you, good night u too. Tomorrow we…

398 Feb 
I am sad … today.
…… What is the only thing that every person wish for?
“it’s to turn back the time” 
I do want the same.
What I believe and what’s happening? I don’t understand .
Every time I listen to her, I am hurt what she says/ Why did she want like that? Everyday I talk with her with hope everything is fine but its end with worst. What shall I do? My real happiness is; being with her but we are appearing as strangers, it’s sad to being like this.
Waking up early, doing my works, meeting friends, came back to home and back to sleep, it seems normal life but something is missing, I missed the moments wid her, I missed those hugs which c gave me as I always needed them. Although I laugh, smile, spend time with other but still I don’t find happiness what I in search of?
With every passing minute, the heart is full of mixed feelings. Even in crowd of people, lonliness finds me.Things changes with changing time, but not the people of the society, selfishness comes across everything, we wish for./ God, why did u let our paths cross when you knew we have to part our ways? Was em really entitled f or this? I know u will fix this, I know u will let our path cross again and let it be forever.
“Life takes U-turn but never tells you when”
But my time being with her was precious, I wont trade it with anything.. I should not force her in any way. I should have to understand her situation she is in, now. I just want her to be happy… Be with me..or../ Leaving everyone believe she’s still the same.
All I was left with silent screams, hears only by meh/ and I know she’s too? Plz god give her power to hold.
Every thing just s…./
I feel sorry for everything else…/
Missed her..
Gd9t./